Hey Man, well this is Babylon

Updated: Found his youtube account! I’m certain this is him. The name is the same as from the comment, and the worlds he uses are identical. I can’t believe he’s 35, though. Can’t be a lick over 12.

Okay folks. This is my personal gaming blog. You don’t have to agree with everything or even anything I say, but I imagine that if you’re reading any of this, you are in some way, shape, or form interesting in my words, and a decent enough human being to enjoy rational discourse.

This morning I woke up to find a rather nerd-ragey comment in my approval queue from this guy:

I didn’t read most of it, because I don’t speak Troll, but it’s pretty obvious from the first and last sentences that A) I don’t personally know this person and B) he has no internet social skills. Last time I left a comment that bad was when I was 14, on a local Dial-Up BBS in my hometown, spewing my trap about what is and isn’t “punk rock” – yeah, I still face-palm the memory of that one.

His comment was on this post of mine about D&D 4E. Take note that I didn’t say anything at all scathing about the game system in that post, and only voiced why it isn’t working for me. I even compliment its mechanical tightness and speak lamentations of my failing faith

I’ve decided to post his comment here for all to see and discuss, instead of letting it hide at the bottom of that post. This is an example of a mega-nerd gone bad, and succumbing to the very same blind nerd rage that he accuses me of no less than four times.

Below the cut is his post. I’ve bold-highlighted my favorite parts. Yes, he actually said that I was “like Akira,” and he actually called me a “turd burglar.” He keeps comparing 4E to 3E like that matters to me, although I get the feeling those are the only games he’s ever played. The funny part is that I loathe 3rd Edition, and don’t find Pathfinder any better, so I have no idea why he thinks these comparisons are so crucial in making his point. I’d laugh this off as a joke, but it’s a bit too specific to be intentional satire.

Hey Kid: This isn’t a WoW forum. Go somewhere else.

I warn ya: major lack of social graces follow, and that’s about as nice as I can state it. Enjoy.

Most of your examples are trite to say the least. For starters, video games are the great imitator. Comparing 4E to a video game (which it shares far LESS mechanics with video games than all previous versions) is like saying – Tennis is a Video Game just because of the Nintendo Wi. It’s beyond stupid. Even a stupid person doesn’t fall into such slogans. It’s indicative of the worst traits we see in gamers: arrogance and unfounded nerd rage.

TO make mattes worse, your downright pathetic examples have NOTHING to do with the system. Let’s see:
“Battle Mode in JRPGS and Combat Encounters in D&D 4E are virtually identical: immutable rules, everyone waiting their turn to act, numerically-set battle order sequences (initiative), repetitive animations (a limited array of prescribed actions), static positioning (characters just standing face-to-face whacking at each other). Sure D&D gives you some nifty, colorful, and mechanically diverse options, but when you break them down they are just combinations of hit point damage and status effects – and most “big bads” have status resistances so goddamned high that they might as well be immune (like every boss in ever JRPG ever).”
You’re beyond stupid. The core of 4E is an exceptions based system. Even a stupid person would know that the bulk of 4E is built on exceptions not on immutable rules. But then again you’re in unfounded Nerd Rage mode. If I were to make lame examples I’d say you’re like Akira!

The “limited array of battle actions” has gone off the deep end of stupidity. Every edition in existence provides a “limited array of battle actions” while 3E provided less than 4E. It’s impossible to tell the diffence between Kobolds and Goblins in 3E. They have one action which is a basic attack. That’s it. Full Round actions are the same as Standard Actions at lower level. You’ve generalized so much your entire point has become irrelevant

Charactes “Just standing Face to Face” have nothing to do with 4E. Once again that’s 3E because of the full round action and plethora of Opportunity Attacks. In 4E characters starting at level 1 are constantly moving. They spend Action Points to get multiple actions in a single round. Rangers and Rogues shift though battle stabbing and shooting. All at level 1. In 3E or Mathfinder characters will not do this at level 11, even though the math has fallen apart by then.

Once again your focus on “status immunities” is wrong when applied to 4E. 4E ended the “blanket immunities” list for “templates.” BTW, if you knew anything about computer programs, templates are closer to the was programs are written to process and load more quickly. However, templates in a Pencil and Paper game are unbearably slow. They add a host of useless shit (much like your blog) to the page space. A CR22 monster in 3E will have Cure Minor Wounds which cures 1hp. Why? Because it’s designed like a video game, not a Pencil and Paper game. A creature with 400+hp has an ability to heal 1hp because everything must be loaded into the page space. But you’re beyond stupid and cannot make this connection. Nor can you understand that at a minimum standard computers greatest advantage is real-time, where PnP is not. That’s why 4E uses Encounter as a time instead of 5 rounds. Using rounds simulates real-time and results in bean-counting – what video games do. But encou
nter time allows players and DMs to Roleplay – something you either hate or simply do not understand.

Here’s another gem:
“Like in JRPGs, the transitions between these modes in D&D 4E are so severe and obvious that they grate on me. Every time a GM tells me to Roll for Initiative, I shudder and snap out of the moment I was just in. Whenever combat pauses to allow the Big Bad his five-minute-long speech, the sickness grows inside me. When the GM narrates that the boss gets away despite us pumping his body with more bullets than exist in the state of Texas, just because he wants the should-be-dead villain to return later, I die a little inside.”

This is a fine example of unfounded Nerd Rage. Rolling initiative has been around since before you were born. Long Speeches are NOT part of the game mechanic. No where does the system FORCE DMs to give long speeches. In fact, if you’ve DMed or played any 3E modules (Such as Paizo’s Shackled City. Yes Paizo! The maker of your beloved Mathfinder.) you’d know that it was 3E modules that brought this about, not 4E mechanics. But I wouldn’t expect that from a hatemongering Nerd. You’ve gone so far off the deep end of stupidity this is beyond your capacity.

Finally, one last point – learn to read a fucking book!
“Cutscene Mode, then, equals the well-known Rule Zero.”

There is no Rule Zero in 4E. Read the DMG and you’ll find that the main focus of the book is to unfuck people like you who are all fucked up. Rule Zero was alive and well in 3E, not 4E. Read the DMG and there is absolutely no support for Rule Zero. There are “Three simple rules” but no Rule Zero. Everything you think you know is based on two things:
1)Jack
2)Shit

Now have fun being a turd burglar.