Hey Man, well this is Babylon

Edit: Ugh. Yeah. As I said before, this game is obviously not for me. I’m not going to be touching it on here any further past this post. I’ve wasted enough time and front page space on this as it is. You would think I actually care about it, or something… *wink*

I am a failure as a reviewer. I just couldn’t finish my first character, but this hardly surprises me. In the last few years, I’ve reached a point where I can’t even make 3rd Ed. characters anymore. I’ll approach the game with a basic character concept, and by about halfway through the creation process I’ll realize one of two things: either I’ve been completely distracted by all the other character options and the idea has morphed entirely into a different min-maxed character altogether, or I just can’t make the character I want to play now (instead being forced to make the character who will be the character I want to play 10 or so levels from now). When a new 3rd Ed. game pops up - provided I even express a desire to play in it (a rare occasion) - I just ask the GM to make my character for me so I don’t have to worry about those problems. Hell, he can go ahead and plot me out a 20-level build plan while he’s at it, too.

When I started creating Regoras Dwalflapel the Erf Langel - er, I mean Elf Ranger, I quickly got bogged down with the page-flipping necessary to build a 4E character. After taking a break, getting a snack, and tackling it a second time, I just gave up. it’s not that the rules confused or perplexed me, but instead they were just bothersome. The layout is not at all conducive to a quick character creation process - and c’mon, this is Dungeons and muh’fuggin Dragons we’re talking about here. Having to spend more than 30 minutes on a D&D character is just plain ridiculous.

One big problem in 4th Edition is that I’m already halfway through the book, and yet I still haven’t found a hand-guided step-by-step process for character creation. There’s a short callout on the very basics of the procedure, but the actual details are then hidden in a few hundred pages which I can only call a Wall of Text. Lots of rules here and there, but few actual procedures. For all the things I dislike about it, at least the 3rd Edition books jump right in and tell you exactly what to do and how to do it. In this book, I have to jump back and forth through a variety of different sections just to find the hidden gems of “At first level, assign such and such points here and so forth” sections. The layout, then, disappoints me.

I should probably clarify that I am pretty comfortable with games which can take hours or even days for character creation. Shadowrun, Burning Wheel, Fading Suns, AD&D 2E, and more all had pretty long character creation systems. However, each of those had the steps fully-detailed in advance. When you open the 4th edition of the Shadowrun book and turn to the character creation section, you are guided step by step through the process. Sure, you have to reference other sections in order to complete the character (skill lists, gear descriptions, magical powers, etc), but the process is all right there. Even 3rd Edition D&D did this. This is just how it should be.

Or maybe I’m just clouded by nostalgia, remembering better days…

Anyway, a few more critiques of things I’ve seen in the book, again copied from my running textfile and left unedited:

p4: Sorry, but DnD is not the “pinnacle of fantasy role-playing games.” The “pinnacle” is far beyond the desperate reach of this system.

p6: “What makes the D&D game unique is the Dungeon Master. The DM is a person who takes on the role of lead storyteller and game referee. The DM creates adventures for the characters and narrates the action for the players. The DM makes D&D infinitely flexible—he or she can react to any situation, any twist or turn suggested by the players, to make a D&D adventure vibrant, exciting, and unexpected.” The Dungeon Master is hardly a concept unique to D&D. But don’t mention that term on the Story Games community! If you do, you’ll be accused of Playstyle Imperialism! Oh no!

p19: Alignments: thank the gods they added Unaligned as an alignment. On the flip side, screw them for including them at all. Alignments are so beyond outdated as to be strictly existing within the realm of sheer bureaucracy.

RACES: Holy turds, the races no longer have starting Stat penalties. An Elf, for example, it no longer +2 Dex / -2 Con, but is instead +2 Dex / +2 Wis. In fact, I’m having a hard time finding limitations and in-born penalties anywhere at all.